Wednesday, June 20, 2007

graduation colours.


i had maintained my principles.i don't cry.i don't let my friends down.I'm imperfect in every way except when it comes to loyalty.I'm fiercely protective about somethings.i need not justify myself to anyone but myself.

for 4 years.... i held onto friends/company.
i never cried...no matter how extreme or severe a situation.
i was always loyal in a rajput way... to what cause or who i rarely knew... but i was taught to be loyal and devoted always.and thus i was.
i was under the impression that education has been a waste as far as i am concerned.that this "degree" was a farce.and my college has been the least of my concerns,or priorities.
i vowed that i would never return,not for a proff or a student.not for any exalted dogmas imparted as the old sense of education would demand.
of all the people that came and went.....the only friend and partner and companion i valued and loved was the street stray.

till the day i graduated.
during which i laughed and gaffed.... in a crudest of ways.
it happens just once in you life...some one said.like you lose your virginity,i had retorted.
My mother was thrilled....her first born was graduating...for the first time.
My sarcasm got the better of me....there's a first time to it all....even a first marriage.

guys cried...i smirked and lifted my button mushroom nose in the air....as high as it could go.
i remained unmoved.

till the buses started rolling away.and the fancy bikes that i despised kicked up a sand cloud for the last time.the train pulled away ....and again...and another train.
one figure remained standing on the platform.he doesn't just do an about turn.i don't know if he walks home ,or stands there for a fraction of eternity.

i realize that teachers could be bastards.but there are some who are worth it.who i shall call a professor in all pompadour.because they taught me respect by respecting me.
that i shall always uphold education....when the chai-wallh and the chem lab peon tell me to study ahead and do a post grad...i was so humbled that did a pronam.much to muy own surprise.
my mess cook....who had put thru rigorous and regular starvation diets...asks me to have lunch with her on the floor.... not at the bench-and-tables.

i realize that muy friends werent the people who were my type.they were those who werent.bcoz they didnt understand me always...for what i did and said.
they just hovered somewhere at the back...knowing i would need special witness and social protection after i have made that mistake. they never turned their backs on me.

we didn't want to come back ever to college.we had no inclination to.

while the boys left...in ones and twos....i just watched.we all looked forward to something.after four years of inertia and dormancy.....some had post grads...or a job.
some were already married...a wanted to be there.some were homesick...and had realized that they had responsibilities to live upto.

till they left.... we didn't realize that what we had left behind.... was what was so vital to us.a brotherhood,a lifestyle,a system.
we needed each other like we needed our toothbrushes.

to all of us....the class of 2007.
poised to face the world.and each has a diff world.
hope and faith.
i was eventually convinced that fate and luck exist.and that it had touched me too.
celebrate....the fact that we found each other....
that we fall back on each other.
that we shall walk ahead,or march or gallop...so that one of us can always fund the phone bill.

with love to all.

ps.i cried too.the first of my "principles" that dissolved.

6 comments:

Arunav said...

Seems like u are just another human being....This sudden void I guess symbolises a change we all dread to tread on ..althhough we never realise it till its right there on your face and it says "Move it mister ..scram"...

All these years we spend cursing our guts out ......where have i landed myself.. would't it be better if i would have done something else blah ...blah..blah.. But in this "want" we miss the fun , the friendly banters ..

So many occsions must have gone by and when we go to the retro zone a thought pops up "i should't have missed it..."


They are a bundle of change every human being goes through physically, mentally , emotionally.
We get to live life in sort of simulated way in college coz its too filled with hate, greed, love, frustration. probably u could encompass all the good n bad virtues of life...

College leaves an impression that is unchangable..Memories bitter n sweet that will stay on forever ,friends to remember by and not forget.

Arunav said...

Seems like u are just another human being....This sudden void I guess symbolises a change we all dread to tread on ..althhough we never realise it till its right there on your face and it says "Move it mister ..scram"...

All these years we spend cursing our guts out ......where have i landed myself.. would't it be better if i would have done something else blah ...blah..blah.. But in this "want" we miss the fun , the friendly banters ..

So many occsions must have gone by and when we go to the retro zone a thought pops up "i should't have missed it..."


They are a bundle of change every human being goes through physically, mentally , emotionally.
We get to live life in sort of simulated way in college coz its too filled with hate, greed, love, frustration. probably u could encompass all the good n bad virtues of life...

College leaves an impression that is unchangable..Memories bitter n sweet that will stay on forever ,friends to remember by and not forget.

Unknown said...

how well do i understand what you're saying! it's a mirror image of my emotions. remember how we laughed when school ended..but we never got over that either did we?
i hated lc and never thought i'd miss anything..but i feel the way you do.
it's not all bad. it can never be. and it does grow on you...change you..and by the time you realise...its too late...but maybe its not always bad...

Nandini Dutta said...

come home.......stay awhile....or forever......get some pampering.....you've been away too long

Deepak said...

i think no1 can understand wut u hv writtn better than me...wut do i say,u hv mentioned each nd everything which v hv gone thru during college...1 thing which u 4got were the rains nd its significance ...

a big yawn said...

Gradution: this is when u think its like losing your virginity as now the world has the certificate to rape you all around. You my my friend are a graduate, and welcome to the big bad world.
Crying may be the first principles that has dissolved, but its just a matter of time till others would folow.
You just would need to step into the corporate bandwagon.
hey hey dont peg me as a cynic yet
It will be a matter of choice from now onwards, every one of them would have its own story.. u just need to choose which one you would tell your grand children
I hereby congratulate you and welcome you to a world of graduates, where you waiting to step into the work life or post graduation beckons
You by now have lost your innocence for sure, but the complete metamorphosis is still in the reckoning..
Its not that bad you would realise soon..
welcome aboard once again