anti capital.

life in Delhi.here is what the sizes are.
small : ages 20 and below.
medium:ages 20 to 30.
large :ages 30 to 40
XL :ages 40 and above.

20 and below is where you get to show off your dads car and look good and be young,and hang around cooler malls during the day.home by 6 .and continue to be cool within the confines of the home.

medium is if you are of those graduate who have a fairly decent job...living in a den of sorts with one or more people of the same age and income bracket.another yuppie establishment where bartan and bathrooms are on principle not cleaned ever.cigarette butts and bits and pieces are left to create a comfortable clutter.a Levis leather patch is the butt / bench mark.books,booze,Internet and clothes are a contrast to to non functional flush and the door off a hinge.this is basically for the out of towners who come in search of work,or stick on in Delhi to work.the family takes on a new meaning...including flat mates/room mates etc.devoid of parental pressure...they think life is a party bcoz they can live in with the boy/girlfriend guilt free.spend as they want,drink etc without a worry,an build up an image with all that they buy off the racks.

large..you've pro just got married,kids,dog...all the bourgeois endeavours to buy a great car,find a new place to live in,is the school you choose hoity toity enough,is your kitchen fancy enough...this is a pupal stage.the butterfly emerges in the next stage.

xl....butterfly at last.you could be bong,mallu,punju,maru,bihari or whatever.of course at this level,the only time time you return to your original form is when the bong will not cook machcher jhol-bhaat.but a fish something " with a delicate flavour,a speciality of the Bengali cuisine,served with rice." maru,punju and bihari will have similar modifications.
.the up-ite could remain very cultured or very coarse.and a punj will want his daaru-shaaru no matter what.
yet essentially...you remain Delhi-ite. neatly trimmed house - plus-lawns. cars in the plural.furniture,wall paint,lighting,tableware...all co ordinated and chic.you are basically shopping from the same racks.

yes...there is old Delhi,Nizamuddin,north campus and jama masjid and lal quila.where you realize you are a prince if you got 50 bucks in your denims.where there are non veg kadais beside open drains.and its nt just cats and dogs,but also cows and goats who are strays.there are nooks and crannies in the outer circle of cp,dusty and dark.....where you will get books and music and hookahs .and the cafe with rickety furniture .or cheap beer joints.north campus is a different place altogether.it demands homage as does Mecca or the Vatican.

unfair as it may be to draw a comparison....i think life is far better in any other place....cal,bombay,blore or guj...the places that i have lived in in....ranging from anything like a month to a lifetime.

phone booth and policemen.scarce in Delhi.in all other places one finds a pco both in almost every corner,main road,highway or residential area.at every pan wallah and petrol pump.those rupee coin boxes.yellow booths.....whatever.and traffic police are the best to give directions.after all if you are cocooned in you air conditioned car you do not need a phone booth,i surmised while scanning the streets for a policeman.every time im lost looking for an address in another of those cushy housing nooks...i know im really lost.and my standard "independent woman" phrase..."ill call if i get lost"...holds no value.in the perfectly rectangular res blocks,the sudden shops,stalls and stray plant is not encouraged.ITS A PLANNED CITY....thus spake the people.
of course...i fumed.i planned on getting lost.and all the housing complexes,societies and appartment blocks in the other places are products of whims.wasnt it anticipated that weher there are people....there shall be a local grocery store,a veggie wallah van on wheels.a rickshaw stand/auto rickshaw stand is st up.basically all the amenities that civiled society would like to avail of.plans ....

for ages i had called anand "mera gaaon."oh bcoz every time i needed new denims,indulge in mall culture or look for gelato(in vain) i neede to drive to baroda or ahmedabad.all that changed soon.CCD,Pizza Hut,Reebok,Sony,City Pulse and wht not soon created a neon glow in anand. now i shall call Delhi "mera gaon".thew nearet sabzi mandi,grocery shop,supermarket,stationary store is just a car ride away.a couple of kms....not much.the bullock carts went out of fashion years back.fruits are so so EXPENSIVE.hoe do ppl eat???no wonder fruit bowls are designer items in those home stores.bhak!
and if i happen to have one of those night time food cravings....for ice cream or something as petty,i only have to nurture and fantasize about it till the next morning.BCOZ SHOPS CLOSE DOWN BY 9PM!!!!unless im in north campus or cr park or something.

the Delhi metro.'its so cool...so fast....so much easier.obviously..it s a metro.and its cool in a impassive slick steely way.air condition and all.i remember in cal....school uniform days.id run in between eh pillars when i was a kid,and lounge around with the attitude when slightly older.the trains would whoosh by in both directions...and i would remain sitting on the steps.because i had no direction to go to...and i had a hand to hold.i was never frisked.and the metro still plays host to romancers and the suicidal.i remember my first metro ride....with ma to the book fair.the yellow plastic chairs have since then continued to fascinate me.

the public transport system.buses,auto or local trains...they are a classic example of democracy.of the ppl,for the ppl.and by the ppl.there will be an instant bonding between ppl.directions,a plastic cuppa,fight and arguments...followed by "peace bredder"...happens everywhere.local in bbay or guj or bus in blore and cal.the bus conductors are one of us....he shall make obvs that he has had a bad day...or he shall share his opinion on anything ..with he passengers.in Delhi....the bus drivers and conductors are these brusque hairy coarse ppl who don't even hear my question(or perhaps my Hindi is just too bad)the call center cabs are slippery.and the auto ricks just take me for a ride.literally.
and in all my life....no matter how crowded,crammed, and jostled...i have often nearly fainted due to the sweaty smell....but i have never had my bottom pinched.

pavements are strictly functional.pedestrians need them.except that there are no pedestrians.i miss cal....where pavements are non existent or are homes for the homeless.and in guj too....as the people would like it....and wherever.

im just not used to this.im used to going out at 8 pm just to chill with friends for some time.parents,how will you get back,stay over...and the worst....unsafe for a girl....ive never been faced with it.in cal or guj.there is always transport available....even at 11pm.there are always ppl on the road.and policemen too.so there.
i miss hanging out at the road side joints.puchka,vada pav,chaat,and juice...in cal,bbay,guj and Blore respectively...all 5 bucks.i miss the pavement cha wallah where we hang out for cha and a ciggie.
the cheap thrills of life have never been more thrilling or cheaper....than to make a 13 rs bus ride to Baroda,and 13rs back....only so that i could sit a day at crossword/landmark and read a book.

i can only pity the people who claim that life is good in Delhi bcoz ....well...whatever.i couldn't ever comprehend.id hate it if my city had to dictate terms.and lay down the conditions of being successful or not.if hate it if i was told how to live.what my lifestyle should be.
as of now....i dont have to CHOOSE a lifestyle mode and pattern.i can create my own.
i pity the young working yuppies....when they lapse into vacant conversation and allow hormones to take over....bcoz sex is the only thing that can give them a sense of achievement or of being wanted.im cool bcoz i am...not bcoz some one thinks so.
for those who swear by turq cottage....id say someplace else wins hands down.
for those who think alcohol consumption makes you more of a man....you are stupid.

once again....i hate Delhi.
in case i haven't been able to present a very strong case....do excuse.im too much in hate.

DNA test results.

i have been suffering of an id crises of sorts.of who i actually am.if my surrounding influences hadn't been what they have been...what my decisions would be like,my tastes,my choices.
would i want a money laden future,orwould i be a wild free spirit.would i be successful in the typically sense or atyical sense?will i someday manage to regain my urbane outlook or do i remain gawaar?
am i a city type...or am i home grown vegetable type...????
quarter life crises of sorts.....now solved.

My DNA scan and scrutiny reveals that i am a true bong.will always be so.proudly too.and everything that i shall do,will become and the be.....will be attributed to that fact that i am bong.
here's why.

1. convent educated.
every bong family wants a convent educated daughter or a daughter in law.and i happen to be from loreto house.
which translates into....I'm a snob.i WILL turn up my button mushroom nose if you cant speak English that way i do.i wasn't born or reared to cook or house keep.i hate boys and men who are ...well... boys or men.
i did go through the phase when i believed that values and ethics was all hokum.and loreto upbring was just over rated.and that i give two hoots about what is supposedly right or wrong.and i used to feel very injured when ppls reaction to LH was....."she is just snooty"
now....im glad i had LH.i am very proud that i am different.that i am justified in being snooty.i am proud of all the values and morals that were ingrained in me.they have been tested loads of times in the past few years.i am glad that no matter what.. i never denied them...and that was what saw me through,though often rocky...and not always apt...but i remained a lady, and standing.i realized i was a diff class altogether.yes,i am an elitist....in muy thought,expression and judgement.so sue me or screw me.
on that note.... as taught by the nuns...i at times too regard orgasms to be sinful.hehe.

2. typically bong...i have a sweet tooth.not necessarily for mishti and shondesh and all.....but for the goodies from nahoums,wengers,flurys....caramel custard and banana loaf,neapolitan,pudding....etc etc...in the heaviest form.

3. laziness.its a hereditary trait.if im not lazy....then im just lethargic.in everything i do.studying,working,implementation of a plan or decision,eating...sleeping,exercise...lazy love making too.when im not lazy...im just procrastinating.

4. opinion. a true bong has an opinion on everything.usually based on half baked knowledge.education,politics,phootball,socail trends and norms,lifestyle,food, life insurance.... and the fate of our environment.i do too.

5. an avante garde of parampara,shonshkriti and the esteemed "Culture".... i have to know art ,lit,music,poetry and dance forms.thus....
i do know more than a fair bit of robindro shongeet.and nazrul islam.i love ganesh pyne.and bhupen hazarika.uday shankar and bikrom ghosh.from there on....che guevara,plath and neruda,yeats and naipaul,freddie mercury and linkin park(sorry bhai....but i just dont like lin park), Tchaikovsky and salsa(which i cant do....) ...i am indeed the avante garde of sorts.dont recommend me to your kids.

6. sex. a durex condom sex survey revealed that bong women are the most adventurous in bed.well....

7. money.all bongs are lost when faced with it.they have zero investment concepts.no knowledge of the financial ups and downs.....hehe....im smarter...but as bong.
show me the money....and i shall buy books,and travel...and buy a car....zero investment concept.

8. boho chic.the bongs are naturally born bohemian.dirty clothes.all the vices...drugs,ciggies and booze.(ma..in case you ever read this....no i dont do all of them!!)batik and jhola bags.( fabindia fabindia fabindia....and khadi,khadder..etc etc) dingy places for cheap chinese,cha drinker(BIG TIME),loafer,dusty book shops giving discounts....even if i am in bbay or blore.pavement charm.natak and experimental art.

9. mothering.all bong women make fantastic mothers.take children to school,then tuition,then nach/gan/blah classes,supervise homework....provide nutritious tiffin and meals,clean and polish keds/shoes.... similar treatment also for husband,chchoto sister /brother....etc etc.
i am a fantastic mother.to animals...dogs,cats,bovines and poultry.the beasts in my belfry....ie the mad roommates,to anushree who always will need a hug and a scolding,to anyone who doesnt have a bath and does no laundry.to anyone who is still recovering from heartbreak.(yes i will kick your arse and get you going).to anyone who needs to be shaken and scolded to get going.and yes....also to muy bhai and ma.kids....im allergic to them.

9. i am a bong when it comes to having an issue abt marriage,music,men...
marriage....never.bhak!!!
men.....o god..stay away.
music...yes i was subjected to piano classes.western classical music in the purest form....with a mem buri for a teacher.trinity college and all.
and i am a bong....kurta,denims,kajal and free.

joy bangla???

delhi lows.



......this isnt anything....just a mood...an outing.
three broke kids.one injured.and an entire evening to do nothing.

so i went hunting in delhi.for a bit of calcutta.beyond flashy cars on clean roads.


and we were in the by lanes and mazes in nizamuddin.

beef rolls and coke...when we are broke.

and my chef ....in the seedy star hotel....an ex convict.man, am i priveleged....
...
and we fooled around.
much to the wrath,whines and whahwhah of sheep and koala..i shall ignore and deny all pics of the hoggers!!!!and also posers!!!

heres the manufacturing process....




















and the secret recipe revealed...!!!....and as the koala was injured and couldnt walk...we retired early.one hurt.
our cubby hole in a total punj locality.every time i step out into the balcony...i am greeted with the happy sight of yet another punj housewifes laundry achievements displayed in her balcony.



and just below our balcony is a dhaba.behind a parking lot of sorts.beneath the street lights.and all muy punj puttars ,beefy or skinny,jobless or goondas,coolio or paiji...this is their hub.

and muy fav is this dude on the right.i know not who he is attached with....but he makes a statement always.this was the one packed with appeal and attitude.

graduation colours.

i had maintained my principles.i don't cry.i don't let my friends down.I'm imperfect in every way except when it comes to loyalty.I'm fiercely protective about somethings.i need not justify myself to anyone but myself.

for 4 years.... i held onto friends/company.
i never cried...no matter how extreme or severe a situation.
i was always loyal in a rajput way... to what cause or who i rarely knew... but i was taught to be loyal and devoted always.and thus i was.
i was under the impression that education has been a waste as far as i am concerned.that this "degree" was a farce.and my college has been the least of my concerns,or priorities.
i vowed that i would never return,not for a proff or a student.not for any exalted dogmas imparted as the old sense of education would demand.
of all the people that came and went.....the only friend and partner and companion i valued and loved was the street stray.

till the day i graduated.
during which i laughed and gaffed.... in a crudest of ways.
it happens just once in you life...some one said.like you lose your virginity,i had retorted.
My mother was thrilled....her first born was graduating...for the first time.
My sarcasm got the better of me....there's a first time to it all....even a first marriage.

guys cried...i smirked and lifted my button mushroom nose in the air....as high as it could go.
i remained unmoved.

till the buses started rolling away.and the fancy bikes that i despised kicked up a sand cloud for the last time.the train pulled away ....and again...and another train.
one figure remained standing on the platform.he doesn't just do an about turn.i don't know if he walks home ,or stands there for a fraction of eternity.

i realize that teachers could be bastards.but there are some who are worth it.who i shall call a professor in all pompadour.because they taught me respect by respecting me.
that i shall always uphold education....when the chai-wallh and the chem lab peon tell me to study ahead and do a post grad...i was so humbled that did a pronam.much to muy own surprise.
my mess cook....who had put thru rigorous and regular starvation diets...asks me to have lunch with her on the floor.... not at the bench-and-tables.

i realize that muy friends werent the people who were my type.they were those who werent.bcoz they didnt understand me always...for what i did and said.
they just hovered somewhere at the back...knowing i would need special witness and social protection after i have made that mistake. they never turned their backs on me.

we didn't want to come back ever to college.we had no inclination to.

while the boys left...in ones and twos....i just watched.we all looked forward to something.after four years of inertia and dormancy.....some had post grads...or a job.
some were already married...a wanted to be there.some were homesick...and had realized that they had responsibilities to live upto.

till they left.... we didn't realize that what we had left behind.... was what was so vital to us.a brotherhood,a lifestyle,a system.
we needed each other like we needed our toothbrushes.

to all of us....the class of 2007.
poised to face the world.and each has a diff world.
hope and faith.
i was eventually convinced that fate and luck exist.and that it had touched me too.
celebrate....the fact that we found each other....
that we fall back on each other.
that we shall walk ahead,or march or gallop...so that one of us can always fund the phone bill.

with love to all.

ps.i cried too.the first of my "principles" that dissolved.