security.....
knowing that the electricity is not going out for lunch any time soon.....
alert.. im having a great hair day... in "love- at- first- sight" with my tresses.
which means i am in dire nee of a hair chop.i think i shall go bald this time. and get a third set of earholes. and a nose stud. either actually.. not both....
god..( who looks after all the animals in this world... assistant of st francis...)... i pray for your blessings... and give me guts....

i want....

a story book.
something to do.
go out and have fun, hang out.... in the sunshine.
a like.
a dog.
new music.
my old perspective.
my denims from the laundry.
a wisp of pujo... and not from ndtv.
girl talk,coffee,pajama party.... hangover.
a long drive around the highways here.... that begins at 9 pm and ends at 3 am.
punjabi dinner at a roadside dhaba.
abhijatya.
...... and..... lemme think.....
naahhhh.. too lazt rite now.
till later.

Work Ex in Guj.... The Ups and Downs....

Thasra.
A tiny research "station". Single storeyed ramshackle biuldings scatttered all over the area... approx 30 acres.Stretches of sugarcane and paddy in between....in fields of water and mud.
The concrete lego structures house labs,offices,store units,ppl.... all of it.
The mosquitoes and the helpful staff rules.

Navagam.
The joint where tea and paan is a social taboo. There isnt a single cha walla shack. No sale of them in any form.... raw,unprocessed or readymade.....Tobacco is popular howerever... They grow it and thrive on it......
The Main Rice Research Station is here( read HQ). Establshd in 945. The buildings are in a much much MUCH better shape and condition.... state of the art lab equip and instruments.. brilliant staff and scientists.. a lake,the fields... and the wilderness made it more enjoyable

Godhra.
No sign of the genocide. A lonely sleepy town where all activity is centered around the solid red brick and whitewashed methodist church and the bus "adda".Banks,Hutch Shops... all here.
My find..... the absence of a single cyber cafe or a std phone booth in all of godhra town.
One guy reported that there werent any movie halls showing the latest movies.
Had to be a guy.....
Btw.. we were working on maize... will be back again sometime soon.

Khetada Gaaon....
Another small village where we were sent to conduct a socio eco survey in the middle of the floods.A little place on the banks of the River Mahe.....the hospitality we recieved was warmer that what i mite have got at a Taj....The mindset was surprisingly educated for them that are labelled "illiterate."
i spent hours sitting and looking at the river.... someone recommended the view from his roof.... so up we wnt.... a iron rusted ladder and sat on the tin roof shed staring at the undulating miles.... and the river winding its way around it......

Vejalpura
Fruit orchards.
Stop.
Nothing else.
Amla,guava,mangoes,chickoos,wood apples... un exotic all.,
We went smack in the middle of the monsoons when it was all flooded. we tramped some 8 to 10 kms of mud,abundant weeds and splotch of all sorts.. only to get a rough geographical layout of the place..... the rains made it impossible to do anything else.....
Tho we grumbled,cursed,whined and cribbed... the fact that we all had yet another pair of soiled muddy and dirty pants,socks and shoes to wash clean and dry did not make us feel any better.
Its good fun talking abt it now.
This place is off the highway...... no buildings,bus stations,phone booths, cha walla, bisciut shop, cigarette walla or anything 20 kms either way.

Gujarat State Fert Co.
A really neat joint.

Madhav Foods .
A pickle factory. run by an engineer. fantabulous.spotless. damn damn interseting.gives one l;oads of ideas. food processing... tremendous area...../.

Deen Dayal Chems....
Basically ferts and pesticides.... i have to admit that i was more drawn to the machinary and raw material processing unit.
Things like insurance,waste disposal,residue material continue to bother me.

Etc.
Loads of other places not worth mentioning.learnt little and was interseted in zilch.

The Guys in my class....
An indisciplined lot of hooligans.Junglees.Barbarians.
Pelvic thrusts and stick-out-butt to all them emran and reshamiya nos..... or whatever that happens these days......
Pigs. Donkeys.Oooofffff.. i hate boys.

And the girls.....
sweet,simple,boyfriend obsessed.leave me to my own devices and my space.

Gujarat.
I know i cursed the place in the past... and taht i will continue to do so... But this place is beautiful.....
Its so so green. the roads are good too. When id dreiven thru Bihar, Bengal etc with Baba.. it was beautiful too....

That part of the country is untamed ,wild .. Every blade of grass,every mud hut and every ditch has a mind of its own... established itself wherver ,and whenever.... the way it pleases.
i will never tire if noticing boundaries here. Indigenous sorts,chicken wire,or concrete walls....
Even the roads are so carefuly maintained... the metal edges....the white markings on the tar.....
Prosperous.... rich.. organized.....

If this were to be mu karmabhoomi.... i would have loved it......
The thought of getting to work itself acts as an incentive to work.....

The "Yatra".
The gujjugs are a "god-mad"lot.Every single mandir.. no matter how small and obscure; or moneyed and obscene..... they will have to darshan karo-fy.the bus driver,the prof,the boys... they will all want to see it.
At the cost of cutting short on work hours.. visit the mandir.
Ask for the local tourist spot... and every fool will direct you to a mandir.... 2 kms away or 25 kms away.....
MAD .......
At times i cant help thinking im on somr sort of a pilgrimage..... bhak.!!!

Chapaner( in the Valley) and Pavagadh( on the Hilltop).The Trek.
Chapaner is a fort city. A curious mixture of Muslim/Mogul structures,Jain temples,Rajput history and local folk lore.
Fits into no period in history.
Defies any logic to architectural style or material..... construction and purpose....
Chronology is absent.
A lovely place none the less..... Quiet.. Serene.....
There are some 5 to 8 villages in this fort city. who grow their own food and have their own cows/buffaloes ...All very helpful.. and give free advice and directions..... which caused us to get lost repeatedly.

Pavagadh.
Lost in the mist.
350 stone steps , or a short bus ride up there.... halfway to the top. Cable car after that.... or the trusted legs...
Disappinted... or rather irritated and annoyed to find yet another bloody mandir at the top.
A good climb nonetheless....

TIRING.

till the next update here.......
after another couple of weeks.

intimacy.
that your body sweat smells diff from your hair sweat....
that your hands on (or off ) the steering wheel indicated your mood...angry,pissed off,wicked,analytical,low....
that you sleep in an impossible way.... on your tummy,neck on the pillow and nose in the air..(???)
that you hold your fork according to how much you have to say while eating....
that you have to have an opinion on everything and you have to test them out on me.....
that you will never lose those stupid red ties....(shudder shudder shudder...)
that you will be thinking abt some concrete or steel of blah strutcture/material etc when you trace lines on my fingers..(dont you even try to deny it....)
that you will always love me.
and i shall love you back.

in all simplicity.

" .....since relationships are always ambiguous,
since my thought is only a unit,
since my thoughts create rifts as much as they unite,
since my words establish contacts by being spoken...
and create isolation by remaining unspoken,
since an immense moat separates the subjective certitude that I have for myself from the objective reality that I represent to others,
since I never stop finding myself guilty even though I feel I am innocent....…
so...i thought how would i ever be able to explain myself to you ? "